The lawmakers of the country are saying that the Indian society is not ready for a law against ‘marital rape.’ As a matter of fact, they are still confused whether there is such a thing as ‘marital rape.’ They are scratching their heads and might be wondering: “What is that people are saying marital rape? Bhai/bhehan, woh kya ho sakta hai?” And, they think it is just a concept!
I, the very unimportant little noiseless voice in this very noisy country, say that there is such a thing as marital rape. Marital rape is a fact and not some imagination or a mere concept. And, this same voice ask you, the lawmakers: Is the readiness of the society that important for a just law to come into existence? Why don’t we think that the law can transform the society, the way we perceive relationships, the way we see things? At least, to some positive extent. There have been numerous cases that a good law has transformed and brought changes in a society for good. The law against the practice of untouchability is one fine example.
I truly believe that a good law in content and spirit will be able to bring significant changes in the society and whether a society is ready for a law like marital rape should not arise. We may struggle for inadequacies in government machinery and forces in implementing such a law. But, to deny women their right to say no to nonconsensual sex on these illogical and stupid reasons can never be justified. If customs are wrong, if society is wrong, if the thinking of some people are wrong, let’s say they are wrong. As for me, marriage should not mean one person dominating another person physically or emotionally. In the sphere of family also, there should be equal rights. Just because it’s happening in the family does not mean we should not intervene when one of them are assaulted by another. Those in the family should be able to voice their likes and dislikes equally. When not heard in the family, their grievances should be recognised and redressed by the justice system.
Well, these are what I believe. The urgencies in life’s worldly responsibilities have compelled me not to think for long, erased many incomplete thoughts and killed many of little ideas. I continue to hope that I will find time…
For the time being, please mind the last paragraph.
Respect for each other is very important. Consent is a must. Ask for HER CONSENT, and if the response is NO, then Wait for HER CONSENT. A FOREVER NO may arise in a marriage as well, then you both decide where do you want to head in life. It’s that simple!
Finally, I too urge: TREAT MARITAL RAPE AS A CRIMINAL ACT.